Don't Close Your Eyes
by 0'EmeraldEyes'0
Summary: It was horrible the cold, cruel, cycle which they lived day after day. But it was unbreakable. The story of Sarah Jacobs' heartbreak.


**Disclaimer:** I don't own Newsies, blah. You know this.

**_Author's Notes:_** _So I thought that Sarah needed a story of her own. I dunno, I have always seen her as kind of a sad character. So I wrote this story with the song "Don't Close Your Eyes" by Keith Whitley as inspiration. It's about loving someone you know loves someone else. So I take no credit for either the characters in the story, or the song, just the basic plot. Please review, for better or worse, lol.Oh, by the way, reading the song lyrics IS mandatory, it is not an option._

"_Don't Close Your Eyes" by Keith Whitley_

_I know you loved him,_

_A long time ago._

_And even now in my arms,_

_You still want him I know._

_But darling, this time,_

_Let your memories die._

_When you hold me tonight,_

_Don't close your eyes._

_Baby I've been a fool,_

_Holding on all this time._

_Lying here in your arms,_

_Knowing he's in your mind._

_But I keep hoping someday,_

_That you'll see the light._

_Let it be me tonight,_

_Don't close your eyes._

_Don't close your eyes,_

_Let it be me._

_Don't pretend it's him in some fantasy._

_Darling just once, _

_Let yesterday go._

_And you'll find more love than you've ever known._

_Just hold me tight, when you love me tonight,_

_And don't close your eyes …_

Sarah Jacobs was alone again that night. She sat in her window seat, as she often did, looking out over the lights of a cold city that could never feel her pain. Her fingers fiddled with a piece of yarn from her knitting. She hardly remembered what she'd been sewing. For she'd been sitting there, stiff as a rock, for five hours …

"Six o'clock?" she'd asked pitifully when he'd left that afternoon, "You'll be home by six, won't you, for supper?" her hands reaching out for him, while he was already half way out the door.

Jack had smiled, kissed her on the cheek, and gave her that nod that she knew was only to appease her. Jack had no intention of being home, he never did. Yet, Sarah's heart broke every time. Every evening she would make his supper, and set it out, with the candlesticks and the good table cloth. She would finish at precisely ten to six every evening, like clockwork. And then, at 5:55, she would take her knitting in her hands and sit in her window seat, watching the foggy streets of Manhattan for his tall figure. She knew, in that part of her heart which she allowed to break every night, that he would not keep his promise. Yet, there was still that other part – that quiet place in her heart which was still in love with her husband. That part made her cook his dinner every night, without fail – a meal fit for a king. And she would put on her best dress, touch up her make up … and then she would sit alone. She would sit alone and watch the food get cold and the candles burn out.

Suddenly the ball of yarn fell from her white hands, and she knelt to pick it up. Sarah didn't really know why she still sewed – she used to enjoy it. Now, it was just something to keep her hands busy while her mind wandered to all the places she knew her husband would be. First, he would be at Tibby's, drinking with the boys - Jack drank a lot. Then, they would move it over to the pool hall, where he would drink more and get a little rowdy - Jack liked to be the center of attention, to relive his glory days. Finally, Jack would go home with David, Sarah's own brother - Jack was in love with David, you see.

Sarah had always known it. She'd fallen in love with Jack the same summer Jack had fallen in love with David. For the sake of appearances, however, Jack had dated Sarah. He'd hugged her and kissed her and bought her gifts, and loved her the way any good boyfriend should. But he was only pretending, and they both knew it.

Sarah and Jack had had one summer however - a year later, when David had left New York to study at a university. It had been a wonderful summer - the summer they got engaged. Sarah had believed, with all her heart, that Jack had given up on David, and the two of them could finally be happy. She believed this as a woman blinded by unconditional love. For Sarah Jacobs truly loved Jack, with all her being. She had always done so.

A noise from the street below brought Sarah to her senses. Even at this late hour – nearly midnight - she would have been glad to see Jack. Her heart jumped and she dropped her knitting – pressing her face against the window: fingers spread, eyes wide, like a child eagerly awaiting a beloved relative's arrival after a long absence. But, alas, it was not Jack, just a stray cat which had caused the disturbance. She slumped back against the cool windowpane, crestfallen. It was never Jack.

As Sarah gathered up her things, and dragged herself to bed, she remembered her wedding day. …She remembered the happy masks her parents had worn – for they knew that it was all a façade. But they had pretended, and Sarah was as happy as she could be. It was what she had always dreamt, and in her heart of hearts, she had believed that maybe someday, perhaps, Jack would grow to love her as deeply as she loved him. Jack had come to the wedding drunk ...and after he'd said his vows, he chanced a brief glance at David before he kissed his bride. And David, well, he sat alone at the wedding. His hair was unruly as if he hadn't slept the night before, and hadn't cared enough to comb it in the morning. His eyes had dark circles under them, and his hands would not stop shaking. He too smelled of liquor that afternoon, and David _never_ drank…

Sarah stared up at the ceiling, silent tears of agony flowing from her big brown eyes. She knew that she was crazy for staying with him. Jack didn't even hide his affair anymore.

But after all, he did care for Sarah. The Jacobs family had always been so kind to him, and he had become good friends with Sarah over those years. He'd laughed with her, and felt completely comfortable sharing his thoughts with her. He loved her like a sister. This is why he stayed with her. Jack knew that if he were to leave Sarah, she'd be broken. So he stayed, and he provided for their pathetic little family, and the nights he did come home, he ate her supper, and they spoke of taxes and furniture shopping, and they'd lie together as husband and wife, and Jack would whisper "I love you" as he was expected to do.

But Jack would sneak off to David whenever he could, and they would express their love much more passionately. Jack finally happy for once, but David unable to ask Jack to leave his sister. It was horrible - the cold, cruel, cycle which they lived day after day. But it was unbreakable.

Suddenly, there came a crash at the door. Sarah sat bolt upright, her tear-stained sheets falling to the floor in a sad heap. She crept lightly to the kitchen, terrified, expecting to find a burglar or a crook. What she found, however, was her husband. She watched as he stumbled into a chair, and his face fell to his hands, sobbing. Quietly, she approached him, placing her hands on his shoulders. He started at her touch, "Sarah," he mumbled, "I'se sorry, I … I missed, uh, dinnah …"

He reeked of cigar smoke and gin. "It's alright darling, just come to bed. You should sleep now." She let him lean on her, and they stumbled their way back to the bedroom they had shared for almost five years now.

"Sarah – I'se really sorry, ya know," he babbled.

Sarah nodded, and caressed his arm. "I know, Jack dear, I know."

They reached the bed, and to her surprise, Jack pulled Sarah close in an embrace. He began to cry. "Sarah, I do love ya. Ya so good tah me, ya put up wid so much …"

Sarah closed her eyes, trying hard to remind herself that it was only the alcohol talking, and that Jack really meant nothing by it. She was silent.

Jack clung to her warm body, fading in and out of consciousness in his drunkenness. After a while, he began to kiss her, mumbling things like "I love ya … don't nevah leave me …"

Sarah kissed him back, just grateful for his body and his warm scent. They made love, and Sarah felt for once as if Jack were sincere. He held her close and kissed her face, as if he really, truly, loved her, as a husband loves a wife. In return, she gave him as much of herself as she could.

And slowly, ever so slowly, Sarah allowed herself to believe that perhaps, Jack had fallen in love with her. Her frozen heart began beating again in the warmth of their embrace. She felt the tears well up in her eyes, silently sobbing for joy. Lying there, Jack's head buried in her shoulder, Sarah had never been happier. She held her husband tight in her tiny arms, kissing him with her rosy lips, and loving him with all her body, mind, and soul.

It was hours later, nearly dawn, when Jack rolled over to face Sarah, still drowsy from the night before. Sarah had been awake all night, unable to sleep for pure ecstasy. And she leaned over to kiss her beloved, when, through closed eyelids, he whispered. "I love you, David …"


End file.
